Category Archives: Cereal

Some Random Stuff…

I had one last post about horror movies to cap off October right, but WordPress decided to shit the proverbial bed and not publish or save it. Basically, watch the V/H/S/ movies, they’re pretty cool. There, now you’re all caught up.

I was going to blog about some other things, but my laptop charger decided to also shit where it sleeps in spectacular, smoke-filled fashion. That’s what I get for buying cheap, Chinese electronics. I’d say buy American, but don’t even get me started about America right now. There are a lot of things that you probably shouldn’t get me started about, but feel free. Also, my desktop, never one to be one-upped, decided to also poop the linens, hence the lack of posting.

I don’t have a lot to say about much, but I do have a little to say about a lot, so here goes nothing…

I was going to return to my roots, and post a picture of Katherine Heigl’s underwear…for the hits…but there don’t seem to be any more. Surely the end is nigh. Also, why is the end the only thing that ever seems to be nigh. I ordered a pizza from Domino’s twenty minutes ago, doesn’t it seem like maybe that’s nigh too? No, just the end.

I’m not going to dignify recent TV related events with an opinion, but I’m also of the opinion that the world would be a much happier place if people would stop feeling ways about things, or at least stop talking about them. It’s bothersome. Also, we’ve all been played like good little marionettes. Look at the birdy, kids, and ignore the wolves.

The new Robocop remake comes out soon, and that bums me out. Not just for the reason that it should bum everyone out, but because I’m sure they still won’t explain how he poops.

People seem touchier about things than they did wehen I was a kid, but about vastly different things.

Once the rest of the states legalize marijuana, can we start rallying to legalize cocaine? You know, a real man’s drug? Shit.

Jersey Shore kinda stopped being funny when they all got sober. That should say something about us as a people.

Once upon a time we all had jobs and watched shows about fictional things to unwind. Now we havve no jobs, and watch reality shows about people with jobs and wish we were like them.

New York banned ecigs so that people wouldn’t get confused because they look like cigarettes. You know what? I fucking want those people to be confused! First you get confused, then you learn something. If you don’t learn, then go dance into traffic and let the collective IQ go up a point or two. I’m tired of molly coddling the stupid. We’re impeding natural selection by protecting idiots. It’s not good for society.

“Children, God has bore a son. As such, you’re getting new bikes.” How did that happen?

I feel like Peter Jackson should get a tattoo of my battered face on his neck. Maybe I’ll talk about that next time.

Leave a comment

Filed under boobs, Cereal, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

Back in the day…

I’m getting old. I accept that. I’ve also come to realize that things from my time are just simply better than things from now. Well, mostly. It’s a given that some things, like computers, phones, video games, have progressed and improved over the years. Some things however, like humans, cereal, pizza, well, these things have taken quite a dip in quality.

Strawberry Krispies

Back in the early 1980’s, or as I like to call it, “The golden age of Krispies”, Rice Krispies came in three flavors; normal, chocolate, and strawberry. I’m not talking about that “rice Krispies with strawberries” bullshit either, I mean actual honest to goodness pink Krispies that turned your milk pink.

No one seems to remember this but me.  I say this with all seriousness, I have met one other person that remembers this, and I made him the best man at my wedding. My priorities kick your priorities asses. I can’t even find a picture of Strawberry Krispies on the internet, and this bothers me because you can find pictures of ANYTHING on the internet.

Batman taking a piss. Enjoy.

And that was disturbingly easy to find. But when I look for a picture of Strawberry Krispies?

Thanks, internet. Now get off of my lawn!

Little Caesar’s Pizza

I know what you’re thinking, yes, this is still a thing, but in name only. It, like my faith in my fellow man, is but a hollow shell of what it once was. I spent several months as a telemarketer, I don’t know what Little Caesar’s problem is.

Once upon a time though, that fat little emperor served up the best two feet of artery destroying goodness your once-strong dollar could buy. It came in two square shaped pies of indescribable decadence, loaded with gooey cheese and seductive toppings, wrapped in a a paper container that would be flimsy from all the sumptuous grease by the time you got it home. Yes, I have a boner now. Yes, I’m terribly confused.

Boner! Boner!

But now Little Caesar’s specializes in the “Hot and Ready” pizza, five dollars of shame and alleged cheese with a topping of your choice on a crust that may or may not be cardboard that you make sure nobody sees you take home to whatever hovel your particular shame spiral has led you to, and choke down moistened with your own tears while contemplating a dessert of whiskey and a .44 caliber bullet.

Hot and ready...your experience may vary.

2 Comments

Filed under Cereal, Humor, Life, Nostalgia